brace yourself for a little sappy new age feel good thought experiment...so i am reading this book "what would you do if you had no fear" and i thought this is an interesting idea to think through idealistic or not. the first step then is to think of the things you fear. these fears if you think about them will gurantee that you what you fear will come true. the idea then is if you air your fears, somehow rid yourself of their power then there will be more space for positive thoughts, aspiration and action. as i spend far too much time worrying and fearing i think i should start to air them, whether you find them here on this blog or not is inconsequential, the point is i let them out of my mind. so here goes what will be very long and continually updated list..at some point ill move on to what i would do if i had fear for now some fears....
I FEAR
-not seeing all of the gorgeous places i dream of seeing
-not finding satisfaction in my work
-i will spend so much time making decsions that i wont have any time left to live the decsions
-i will miss my little brother grow up
-i won't see my siblings as much as i want to
-i will lose the people i love and they will die not knowing how much they meant to me
-my own potential. it stares at me, demands of me and yet i wonder if i can answer it
-what will happen when i truly commit myself to something (among other things this PhD)
-being stuck
-that i will be bored when i figure it all out
-the very stability i crave
-that i will die without having lived every day i have been blessed with
-that i will never be content with any decsion i make
-being content
-being alone
-the safety of school
