While I want this blog to be many things I feel it often fixates on the loss of my mom. I don't intend to end that strand with this post, but feel maybe speaking my thoughts to an unknown audience may be just what I need. Perhaps I in writing to an unknown reader I am only making sense of this world for myself. Or maybe someone else will read this random accumulation of memories and see a theme/strand or insight I did not anyway...
Today I had a random memory of a conversation I had with my mom. 2 weeks before she passed way she called me to tell me that one of my aunts had died. While not unexpected no one thought she would go so fast. My mom I remember requested I send a card to my cousin consoling her on the loss of her mom. I remember telling my mom how weird it seemed to send a card to console some one, and that it all just didn't seem real. I don't really remember the exact conversation but I know my mom focused on just sending the card to let my cousin know I was thinking of her, whether it made "sense" or not. Truth is I don't remember if I sent the card or not, nor did I think 2 weeks later I would lose my own mom. I never thought much of the conversation until just recently and how weird the timing was. I guess you never know whats just right around the corner. The thought of losing my mom seemed so distant in that conversation about my cousin's loss. I'm sure in speaking with my mom I envisioned having her around for many years, and the loss of a parent was not anything I thought would affect me for a very long time. Life's twists and turns are odd, especially when reflected on. I guess as one fairly infamous boxer so aptly put it "everyone has a plan till they get punched in the face." I guess you never know how your plans and the punches life throws at your plans will match up...maybe we just have to be happy we are still in the ring to take another hit and enjoy those brief moments we are not getting hit.
